Saturday 10 August 2013
Friday 9 August 2013
Living the most contributive life
Living the most contributive life -
Luis Nieves forwarded by Vrinda Taneja
Luis Nieves forwarded by Vrinda Taneja
I was so poor when I received the gohonzon in aug 1968 that it seems almost unimaginable today today. I regularly hitch-hiked 50 miles to youth activities, sometimes taking all night to get home.i couldn’t seem to hold a job for more than a week or two- either I would get fired or was too depressed to shop up.
One day my landlord kicked me out of the apartment for failing to pay rent and took away everything except the alter, in lieu of rent. I spent many nights sleeping on the floor, as I tried to work to payback the rent while struggling to attend some days of school. Late night my friend Randy, who had also begun chanting nam myoho renge kyo, would stand guard at the laundrymat, while I huddled behind the machines waiting for my one set of clothing to dry.
I continued to do SGI activities because they gave my life meaning. I remember hitch hiking 35 miles north of Napa California to deliver a gohonzon to a new member. After walking for 10 miles with my thumb out, no one stopped. My clothing was thin, threadbare and then it began to snow.i arrived at the member’s house late next morning , helped enshrine the gohonzon, then hitched a ride back in time for a discussion meeting.
During these years my friend Linda and I did many youth activities together, along with her sister Becky, and my friend Randy. Linda had received the Gohonzon the same day as my mother.
Even though many people in small our town derided us when we shared Buddhism with them, our hearts were filled with joy. We would huddle together in the cold, sometimes very late into the night, reading SGI President Ikeda’s guidance, proud students of Ikeda University. Prez Ikeda’s guidance was so real, so tangible, it gave us inspiration and hope.
Linda eventually got a steady job and bought a very old car which we used mercilessly for youth activities at home and in san Francisco.
Linda and I came to understand that our problems were not revelations of our misery or failure, as people in the town were swift to point out to us. We chose this life to demonstrate the greatness of Nicheren’s Buddhism, the truth of prez Ikeda’s Guidance and the potential innate in ordinary people to become true victors in life.
With the spirit to transform poison to medicine through our Buddhist Practice, our determinations were these-
Because we are so desperately poor, we must become wealthy.
Because we have to walk , hitch hike and drive such battered cars, we must become people who can drive any car we wish
Because school is impossible for us to attend, we must become educational advocates for many young people like us. In other words, we viewed our Karma as our mission for Kosen Rufu/ world peace.
This gets to the heart of why we never ever missed any opportunity to contribute to the SGI, including making Financial Contributions. Don’t ask me how we did it- we were so desperately poor. We chanted a whole lot not to miss any opportunity to contribute and do more than we thought we could. When we had no money, which was the norm, we ‘d find working extra jobs, collect old bottles- anything to make a cause for our happiness.
Linda and I were always of the same mind. We made every financial cause selflessly and without expectations, because doing so made us happy. After about 10 years of friendship, and as comrades in faith, we married, realizing how deeply in love we were.
As we continued to live a Cause-oriented practice, our environment reflected the changes that occurred within ourselves. Over time, we got better jobs, better timings and better bosses.
We had beautiful children, and, in 1990, I started an automobile insurance company from our spare bedroom. With quick and sincere service- traits we had learnt and developed through doing SGI activities in my youth- our business grew. Recently, my company completed construction on a new headquarters in Napa, California.
This year Linda and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniv. We now live in a large beautiful jewel of a home we have built in our own vineyards, complete with an observatory. Our home is always open for SGI members and for faith related activities. We now have 4 holiday homes, including one overlooking the bay and across the ocean in Miami.
Linda’s old car has now changed to a custom-made powerful Italian sculpture on wheels.
Our commitment to kosen- rufu remains the same. In order to get home in time for meetings and activities we now fly on our family jet plane. We are privileged now to do everything we can behind the scene to financially support and further president Ikeda’s vision for Soka University of America, a school fostering the next generation of world leaders and peacemakers
Linda and I are more deeply in love and have more fun together than we could have ever imagined. Most importantly, we feel like we have only begun to fulfill our mission for contributing to the growth of the SGI Peace Movement together with prez Ikeda. The best is ahead, and we determine never to give up, no matter what.
One day my landlord kicked me out of the apartment for failing to pay rent and took away everything except the alter, in lieu of rent. I spent many nights sleeping on the floor, as I tried to work to payback the rent while struggling to attend some days of school. Late night my friend Randy, who had also begun chanting nam myoho renge kyo, would stand guard at the laundrymat, while I huddled behind the machines waiting for my one set of clothing to dry.
I continued to do SGI activities because they gave my life meaning. I remember hitch hiking 35 miles north of Napa California to deliver a gohonzon to a new member. After walking for 10 miles with my thumb out, no one stopped. My clothing was thin, threadbare and then it began to snow.i arrived at the member’s house late next morning , helped enshrine the gohonzon, then hitched a ride back in time for a discussion meeting.
During these years my friend Linda and I did many youth activities together, along with her sister Becky, and my friend Randy. Linda had received the Gohonzon the same day as my mother.
Even though many people in small our town derided us when we shared Buddhism with them, our hearts were filled with joy. We would huddle together in the cold, sometimes very late into the night, reading SGI President Ikeda’s guidance, proud students of Ikeda University. Prez Ikeda’s guidance was so real, so tangible, it gave us inspiration and hope.
Linda eventually got a steady job and bought a very old car which we used mercilessly for youth activities at home and in san Francisco.
Linda and I came to understand that our problems were not revelations of our misery or failure, as people in the town were swift to point out to us. We chose this life to demonstrate the greatness of Nicheren’s Buddhism, the truth of prez Ikeda’s Guidance and the potential innate in ordinary people to become true victors in life.
With the spirit to transform poison to medicine through our Buddhist Practice, our determinations were these-
Because we are so desperately poor, we must become wealthy.
Because we have to walk , hitch hike and drive such battered cars, we must become people who can drive any car we wish
Because school is impossible for us to attend, we must become educational advocates for many young people like us. In other words, we viewed our Karma as our mission for Kosen Rufu/ world peace.
This gets to the heart of why we never ever missed any opportunity to contribute to the SGI, including making Financial Contributions. Don’t ask me how we did it- we were so desperately poor. We chanted a whole lot not to miss any opportunity to contribute and do more than we thought we could. When we had no money, which was the norm, we ‘d find working extra jobs, collect old bottles- anything to make a cause for our happiness.
Linda and I were always of the same mind. We made every financial cause selflessly and without expectations, because doing so made us happy. After about 10 years of friendship, and as comrades in faith, we married, realizing how deeply in love we were.
As we continued to live a Cause-oriented practice, our environment reflected the changes that occurred within ourselves. Over time, we got better jobs, better timings and better bosses.
We had beautiful children, and, in 1990, I started an automobile insurance company from our spare bedroom. With quick and sincere service- traits we had learnt and developed through doing SGI activities in my youth- our business grew. Recently, my company completed construction on a new headquarters in Napa, California.
This year Linda and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniv. We now live in a large beautiful jewel of a home we have built in our own vineyards, complete with an observatory. Our home is always open for SGI members and for faith related activities. We now have 4 holiday homes, including one overlooking the bay and across the ocean in Miami.
Linda’s old car has now changed to a custom-made powerful Italian sculpture on wheels.
Our commitment to kosen- rufu remains the same. In order to get home in time for meetings and activities we now fly on our family jet plane. We are privileged now to do everything we can behind the scene to financially support and further president Ikeda’s vision for Soka University of America, a school fostering the next generation of world leaders and peacemakers
Linda and I are more deeply in love and have more fun together than we could have ever imagined. Most importantly, we feel like we have only begun to fulfill our mission for contributing to the growth of the SGI Peace Movement together with prez Ikeda. The best is ahead, and we determine never to give up, no matter what.
Thursday 8 August 2013
VP Tsuji – Protect
Prayer from Negativity
Once we
have decided to succeed at something because a wonderful occasion has presented
itself to us, we must protect our inner world, which is subjective, against the
subtle attacks of our negative voices: “Nothing will ever change anyway, it is
always the same thing, etc…” If we are subject to hearing these kinds of voices
(which is the case for most of us) well, then, we listen to them. And we let them influence our state of
life. The more we listen to them, the
more they destroy our prayers. So, we slowly start to change the course of our
prayers. And there comes a time when we start to agree with these inner
negative voices, because this is what we have done most of our lives.
When we reach this
point, our prayers have all the chance in the world to FAIL to come true. When
we chant daimoku, it is what we think and what we feel at this particular
moment that gets projected into the universe.
And as the Law is impartial, we are the one who decides what will happen. It is like a mirror. So, if unconsciously, we change the course of our prayers, the
Law accepts this as our desire.
So, our
responsibility, when we truly desire something, is to hold on to our prayers
without letting our negative voices discourage us. If we start to compromise, we have abandoned
our prayers’ goal without even being aware of it. Once a decision is made, no more compromises! Buddhism is
victory or defeat. It is not compromise. Compromising is what we have done
all our life.
So, create the decision and chant daimoku for it. Once
the determination is there, how you will obtain this or that, how things will
happen etc., becomes the responsibility of the Gohonzon (your Buddhahood). Our
responsibility is to hold on to our prayers
without letting ANYTHING destabilize
inside ourselves or in the outside world. (Stop
judging your prayer – it is worthy!!)
It is also of the utmost
importance to practice to manifest our BUDDHAHOOD every day. It is really the essential point because
if we cannot manifest the Buddha state in our life, no big results can be
expected from our prayers anyway. If we do not understand this, let’s say that
we simply pass the time practicing for our desires.
Extremely
important also is the concept explaining that we all have this Buddha nature
inside ourselves. Life itself is
Buddha. Our whole life is Buddha. Everything that lives in this world is Buddha. We must not think that this Buddha nature is
outside us. It is one and inseparable
from ourselves. The Gohonzon is an
exterior object. It is a catalyst that
makes this Buddha state emerge from the depths of our lives. The Buddha nature in us and the one that is
embodied by the Gohonzon are the same reality. They seem two distinct entities
but the eternal truth, unchanging, is Buddha.
It is life itself.
YOU ARE BUDDHA
NOW! When you realize this, you start to recognize and appreciate the power,
the dignity and the unlimited aspects of your life.
This means that
you are the Buddha responsible for your life.
Nobody, but you. You can do
whatever you want with your life. Not
what your environment wants it to be.
When you acknowledge that your life is Buddha…it is ichinen sanzen. And you
can call forward the power to transform or create Buddha’s land wherever
you are. Not somewhere
else or in the future.
The past is only a
dream, no matter if it was good or bad, it is still a dream. As for the future, it is nothing else than
our imagination, be it positive or negative.
In itself and by itself, future does not exist. The essence of life, which is Myo, is eternal
and unchanging. The more you will
acknowledge that your life is Buddha, the more force and conviction will be
found in your daimoku.
The ultimate
ichinen of the Gohonzon is to make anyone from any world equal to it. It is the reason why a Buddha appears – in
order to give each person the key to his palace of enlightenment and to his own
wisdom. If we do not understand this, we
are like beggars who chant daimoku. And
there comes a time when the Gohonzon doesn’t answer our prayers no more because
if we continue in the wrong way, we cannot attain enlightenment. We are completely wrong as to our
objectives. Whatever you feel towards
the Gohonzon, you can experience towards the Gohonzon that lives inside
yourself.
Buddhism is
vertical: the present moment is infinite, unlimited, eternal. There comes a time when we must consciously
start to work at our own awakening. We
cannot just go with the flow. We can
practice all our life in the wrong direction.
But, in cultivating our attention consciously, we can come to see that
our life is Buddha. We must perceive the
nature of our own life. If we do not
acknowledge this, we suffer each time a difficulty arises. We feel desperate and powerless. But when we realize that our life is Buddha,
each time a problem arises, a strong conviction and a big confidence
appear. “Because my life is Buddha, I
can transform this into a huge benefit.”
If we deepen this conviction that our life is the Buddha entity, as we
are – and not after becoming these perfect beings – then things start to
happen, we do not feel anxious or fearful; what is happening is only the
occasion to transform the difficulty into a major benefit and the suffering
into joy.
The ultimate optimist is the one that has no fear for the future and no
regrets of the past. His life is Buddha, he can transform
anything and make the Buddha nature appear in everything. So, even in the state of hell, because he has
this deep conviction that his life is Buddha and that he is its manifestation, the
Buddha nature of ALL THINGS emerges also.
Jane Steele had to reach rock bottom before she found the sparkling diamond of Buddhahood.
Shining Brightly
A version of this experience first appeared in the U.K. publication, Art of Living.
Jane Steele had to reach rock bottom before she found the sparkling diamond of Buddhahood.
I was born a Black child to a single mother in Yorkshire in 1969. It may have been the tail-end of the Swinging Sixties, but many attitudes remained firmly Victorian. At the time of my birth my mum lived in an unmarried mothers' home in Chapeltown, Leeds, where my horrified grandparents had placed her after stopping her from marrying my father through racism.
My father disowned me, threatening my mother that he'd "swear her out of existence" if she tried to say that I was his. Prior to my birth, one of my mother's uncles had offered to pay for an abortion. Mum refused, and also kept me against all odds, when the policy in such homes at that time was to coerce mothers into adoption.
After the home we moved in with my grandparents in Wakefield. Mum married in haste in 1970. Having repented at leisure, she returned with me to my grandparents' home in the early Seventies. There then followed a series of my mother's boyfriends — all flares, stack heels, and strong aftershave — and arguments between my mother and grandmother reminiscent of Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. I was frequently the piggy in the middle.
In 1977, I was sexually abused by a gang of boys in a series of episodes. Afterwards one of their friends called me "the waste of a good f**k." (Not a good thing to hear at any age and, anyway, how did he know? They must have been gossiping.) This experience, and those words, went straight into my subconscious. I "forgot" the episode as a coping mechanism, but began to carry around a nagging but pronounced feeling of contamination: a feeling that I was soiled, inferior and dirty. My weight began to fluctuate and I developed stomach problems to the point where I went for blood tests — not surprisingly, they yielded nothing. I also began to have trouble sleeping, as well as eczema. Racism was a constant.
In 1978 my mother met my current stepfather. We moved in with him in 1982 and so began four years of torture. I was told that I was a "quadroon" and that any children I had would be "octoroons" — old slave-trading terms for people who were perceived as one-quarter or one-eighth Black.
I moved out in 1986, back to my grandparents. I was covered in eczema and recovering from the glandular fever I had succumbed to the year before, but things began improving. I changed schools and with the help of my grandparents, teachers, and old and new friends got excellent A-level results and went to university in London. I also got a good degree, which surprised me because I was more interested in drink, drugs, nightclubs, and sleeping.
After graduating, unsure of what I wanted and in the middle of a severe recession, I returned to Wakefield and began temping in Leeds to pay off my overdraft, raving in Leeds and Manchester at the same time, and dabbling with speed and Ecstasy in the process. I also went to Trinidad to see my Black relatives, including my father.
I then moved to Liverpool in 1992, having met someone at an engagement party. Writing had been an interest for many years and I got a voluntary job with a listings magazine. I went to Trinidad again in 1993. This time, my father hid behind a steel drum rather than speak to me. I buried those feelings of rejection and anger along with all the others: I was carrying a ticking timebomb inside!
Then in 1994 my beloved Grandad, the only semblance of a kind/steady male presence in my life, died. As frozen and out of touch with my own emotions as I was, I didn't grieve properly. I wrote a novel in the space of three months and began taking drugs with a vengeance, having moved into a flat on my own and found a dealer. My amphetamine intake began escalating: in 1995, when I got my first "proper job" as an admin assistant at an inner-city special school, I was on speed at the interview.
That job was the start of something really special for me. I was earning a regular wage and active in the unique, challenging, and very special Liverpool 8 community. I also met the friend who introduced me to Buddhism and began to chant in Spring 1996.
Yet highs and lows fought for dominance in my life: for example, I got the job in the September, had a car accident in October, and caught salmonella in November. Salmonella didn't stop me: come that New Year's Eve I was on a table in a city centre bar, full of speed and Ecstasy, dancing away. I'm surprised that I still have a stomach lining! I caught chickenpox at about the same time and in January ’97, I was in another car crash.
All my karmic patterns were gearing up for one huge showdown with the good in my life. A so-called friend had a long-distance boyfriend who worked in a table-dancing club in Texas. I wanted to try it! I had the bright idea of telling my boss where she could stick her job and flying out there to be a table dancer.
Table dancing was, for me, a complete disaster. A bigger disaster was that I returned home and told my then boyfriend, with whom I was completely in love, or so I thought. He dropped me like a hot potato, slandering me to anyone who would listen and calling my mental health into question. It was my stepfather all over again, but I had brought this situation about due to my greed, anger, and stupidity.
I was devastated. Unable to work for very long, sleep or keep food down, all the fatigue, drug abuse and years of self-slander took their toll. Astonishingly I still managed to do things, such as get a job. I gave it up after two months because I had to drag myself up from the bathroom floor (where I would regularly collapse in the mornings) to get myself there. I also arranged a family reunion with cousins from Trinidad and Manchester, and had a go at sending articles off to the Black press. My dream of becoming a writer was still a flickering flame — just about alive, like me!
Come August 1997, I had no job, my flat had damp in all but one room, I was heartbroken and physically exhausted. It was still possible to bulk-buy Ibuprofen tablets then: buy them I did. The first time I took around 60; the second time, 80-90. A despairing friend rushed me to the hospital where I promptly threw up all the tablets.
There, left to my own devices on the overnight observation ward, I really began to think about what I was doing to myself, my body, and my life. "What’s happened to me?" I thought. "What's happened to all my talent?"
This was the epiphany, the turning point: it was the first time I had ever given myself credit for having any talent, at anything. During that overnight stay, I also thought, "There must be a flip-side to this. If I have messed up to this degree, then surely I can succeed to the same degree, and greater."
Bingo: I had found the indestructible diamond buried deep in the mud. Very slowly, I began to make the necessary changes in my way of thinking, feeling and doing. My friend, the same one who had introduced me to Buddhism when we worked together, taught me gongyo, and I began to attend meetings. What impressed me most of all was the sweet fragrance of the incense and the serene, welcoming atmosphere of certain members' homes, particularly as my own place was a mess: I could smell the damp from it in my own hair.
That was five years ago. Now, I have a beautiful flat, which I chanted for, in one of the most desirable parts of Liverpool. The city itself is regenerating like a phoenix after years of struggle. Liverpool has now become a Chapter and we have small but thriving, growing and powerful Young Women's division for which I am honoured and humbled to be the District Leader. I have had promotions, substantial pay rises, a job change and now work hours which I chose. My current (lovely) employers know that these hours fit around my writing and my Buddhist activities. In June, through work, I am participating in a Dragon Boat race in Liverpool for Businesses Against Child Abuse and the NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children) — something which I hope to be a real expression of my bodhisattva nature.
Memories of the sexual abuse came up in the form of flashbacks in summer 1998, and I dealt with them through two years of counselling — every week for the first nine months, then less and less frequently until I no longer needed the sessions.
The best part is that at my previous job, someone phoned from a very well known regional magazine. My Buddha wisdom in full flow, I quickly asked if they wanted any contributors. The answer was yes and for two years, from February 2000 to February 2002, I worked for them as a freelance book and club reviewer. So, not only has my dream of being a professional writer come true, I got paid for reading and going out!
An increasingly strong Buddhist practise has made the difference. I was very sceptical at first, but as I continued to chant there were too many positive "coincidences" for me to write off. Through chanting daimoku, I obtained the energy and wisdom to make changes. Keibi (spending a week looking after the Taplow Court Buddhist centre in England), study courses and a week at our centre in Trets in France moved my life on still further. You feel the changes inside.
The most obvious conspicuous benefit came from doing the monthly Buddhist newsletter, which "coincidentally" preceded my break as a professional writer.
The inconspicuous benefits have been immeasurable — purpose, strength, clarity, peace, and happiness: a miracle after almost thirty years of constant upheaval, suffering and confusion.
And, of course, when you see the benefits yourself, you want to share them with others in the form of telling others (shakabuku). Your ego melts away and you don’t care whether they think you are a religious nut. You just want them to be happy! The most unlikely things happen, too: my grandma is now practising, for example, at the age of 85, and the positive transformation is unbelievable. Last Saturday, my Mum accompanied me to a study meeting.
The key discovery for me has been choice. I no longer have to accept the demeaning rubbish that I have been force-fed about myself and what I am capable of. The very solid concepts within this Buddhism — the Ten Worlds, cause and effect, and the oneness of self and environment — help me to see, clearly every day, how I can act to make things better for myself and others. And taking complete responsibility means that being a victim becomes a thing of the past.
Now, the next stage of my life is here. On 2nd December 2000, I began one million daimoku with the aim of getting a novel published and making a comfortable, full-time living from my writing. Now, in March 2002, I have about 20 hours left. That million daimoku has taken me on an incredible journey which will make the publication of my first novel the icing on a wonderful cake, no matter when I achieve it.
Generally, I know that there is going to be at least as much happiness as there has been misery. I can also see a positive aspect to the bad things I went through. Having been on the receiving end of cruel words, for example, means that I know the psychology of language; I can now use words my way, to create value for myself and, crucially, for people who are suffering. And I've also lived, up to now, three novels' worth of experiences! So, if you are reading this and feel like giving up hope or feel trapped by circumstances, please don't. There is a way out. As the Gosho says:
Generally, I know that there is going to be at least as much happiness as there has been misery. I can also see a positive aspect to the bad things I went through. Having been on the receiving end of cruel words, for example, means that I know the psychology of language; I can now use words my way, to create value for myself and, crucially, for people who are suffering. And I've also lived, up to now, three novels' worth of experiences! So, if you are reading this and feel like giving up hope or feel trapped by circumstances, please don't. There is a way out. As the Gosho says:
"Even a tarnished mirror will shine like a jewel when polished…. Arouse deep faith and polish your mirror night and day. How should you polish it? Only by chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo."
A MILLION DAIMOKU EXPERIENCE.
A Tale of Two Stephens
"A shallow person will only have shallow relationship. If you want to experience real love, it is important to first sincerely develop a strong self-identity." ~SGI President Ikeda
The following is a contribution by Angie Leong of SGI-Malaysia which I have found encouraging and which I wanted to share:)
Angie Leong relates how she overcame a failure in relationship through faith and in the process gained much more...
Believe it or not, I have actually attempted suicide because of love. It sounds silly but I have been there and I understand how it feels.
Probably the most difficult and common problem among women is the 'relationship karma'. It is difficult because it involves not only us but others as well. We often feel helpless in such situations as we cannot control how others feel.
At 21, I graduated with honors and landed a job with US multinational firm even before getting my results. I thought I was strong and capable, but I soon found out that I was just an emoty shell putting a strong front to mask my low self-esteem.
I fell in love with Stephen in 2002. Soon I begin to neglect my practice of Nichiren Buddhism. Love was in the air, filling my whole world, blinding me totally. Knowing I would soon hit a wall, my mother persuaded me to go back to the Gohonzon and chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo(daimoku).
But I told her off: "Let me be; let me lead my own life!"As time went by, I became insecure. I pried on Stephen, became clingy and manipulative towards him. We hit rock bottom on December 14, 2002 when he called to say he had enough, ending the relationship with a slam. Just like that.
I panicked. I called him repeatedly, but was always answered with a harsh bang. It hit my pride and it hit really hard. I dropped to a very low life-state while not knowing what to do.
Later I travelled to Singapore to see Stephen. What he said shocked me. He used the very same words I had said to my mother! "Let me be; let me lead my own life!" The law of cause and effect smacked right at my face.
My mum encouraged me to chant for what I really wanted, which was to have a second chance with Stephen. But I was impatient to see the resultsm so I called him when I was alone some time later. Then I literally fell into hell when he accused me of harassing him.
To be accused so by someone who had once declared his deep love for me - was humiliating and painful. I felt worthless, capable only of bringing misery to others.
Down the Destructive Path
There was only one way to prove how earnest I was. I decided dying was it.
Many things went through my mind at that time, including the most 'appropiate' way to commit suicide. Tearfully, I knelt down before the Gohonzon and chanted three - supposedly last daimoku. My prayer was, "I am sorry," As I took up the knife and placed it on my wrist, a YWD(Young woman division) leader called my mobile phone. Amazingly, I picked it up. Sensing the distress in my voice, she rushed right over to my place. It was as though I had sent my SOS signal to her through the universe.
My mother and the YWD leader encouraged me to chant for what I desired, and that my prayers will surely be answered.
I chanted but felt that I should have a more concrete prayer to achieve my goal. After chanting abundant daimoku, I found some answers when I came upon an article written by a SGI member which reads, "As long as we thoroughly understand and truthfully apply those [the Daishonin's] teachings, we will be able to single-handedly build a successful relationship with confidence and joy but without feeling the need to make concessions, repress grievances or experience resistance."
The article also shared that we need to resolve conflicts by taking on responsibility and by transforming ourselves first. Using an analogy about a broken glass, the author wrote that we cannot mend something if we do not own it. But when we take it up as our responsibility, then we can do something about it.
How wonderful! I was determined to fight, to chant for courage and strength, to take responsibility for the broken relationship, look into my inner self and face and 'ugliest' side. I resolved to challenge my first one million daimoku.
One Million Daimoku
The progress of self reflection focusing on the three poisons of greed, anger and stupidity was not easy. I came to realize many things about myself and how everythng is a reflection of my inner life.
I had never respected or trusted Stephen. I was arrogant in thinking I was always right and demanded perfection when I was not.
I struggled to face myself squarely, using daimoku as a source of energy, I chanted, I cried, I slept for only a few hours a day, i chanted whenever I could, on the train and during lunch break. I chanted so hard that my mum was worried that I was becoming fanatical.
Through the study of Buddhism, I learned that when based on faith everything happens for a reason. We had scripted this situation ourselves to enable us to grow in faith and transform our karma - I saw that Stephen was part of my push factor to deepen my faith and human revolution.
I also learned to sincerely repent for bringing suffering to the people around me. I especially repent for the way I treated Stephen and for giving undue stress to my parents. I also repented for trying to take my own precious life. Such prayers were very powerful. It helped me to accept the situations as my very own responsibility.
Then I learned about the prayers of gratitude. I owed a debt of gratitude to Stephen for pushing me to do chant so much daimoku and human revolution, to my parents for being understanding and to my friends and YWD members for being supportive when I really needed it.
I listed down my prayers word by word. In all, they came to six pages! It took me half an hour to read. The clear prayers and objectives helped me to pray consistently regardless of how bad my day had been.
Holding Dialogues through Daimoku
My previous attempts to talk directly with Stephen had only worsened the situation. Somehoe, my intention was received in a different light. The Buddha is within each of us, and all of us have the potential to be understanding and compassionate. I decided to conduct a ''dialogue' with him via my daimoku chanting. With my Buddhahood reaching his - a Buddha connecting with another Buddha - my message will surely be delivered with compassion and peace.
An article I read states that when we pray, our Buddhahood is manifested and we fuse with the universe. We are all connected. My SOS message to the YWD leader proved it. When we pray and present our goals, we are actually presenting our life proposals. To achieve my goal, my thoughts, words and deeds must contribute to it.
I had to work harder on my 'human revolution'. It is not transformations merely to achieve a goal but a true inner change that transforms every aspect of my life and surroundings. Correspinding to the law of cause and effect, when we react positively to circumstances, we will get positive reactions and different paths will unfold, henceforth transforming our karma.
At times when things were particularly trying, I sought for encouragement from fellow members and leaders. When I felt impulsive and impatient, I wuold get a SMS stating "Perseverance is the key." When I felt like calling Stephen, my mum would remind me to dialogue with him through daimoku. I was a stubborn person but at such times I turned my stubbornness into perseverance.
When I was halfway though my million daimoku, my prayer list was reduced to three pages. I did not give up on my goal. Praying with a sense of gratitude and repentance helped me to let go some of the darker tendencies within me - especially grudges. Letting go was like lifting a rock off my shoulder. I became much happier.
At the end of my million daimoku, I was offerd a job in Singapore. Opportunity has come, I thought. Part of my prayer was answered, now that I have the chance to be closer to Stephen again.
I mmoved there. I was doing well in my career, but I did not manage to meet him even though I knew we were in the same vicinity. My spirit sank, but with continuous encouragement, I persevered.
While in Singapore, my god brother introduced me to a friend. Coincidentally, he too was called Stephen. A feeling of déjà vu overwhelmed me. I shared with him the great philosophy of Nichiren Buddhism. He was attracted to my earnest effort to be a better person. Frankly, I panicked at his interest at first.
I went home and chanted wondering if I had not presented the name precisely enough in my prayer, and things got mixed up! Anyway, I decided to chant for the happiness of the two Stephens!
As I looked back, I realized that there was no mix-up. The Stephen who showed me love and care may have the same name as my ex-partner, but they are totally different persons with different personalities. I have met a Stephen who wants to spend his whole life with me, to be my life partner. He is also very supportive of my faith in Nichiren Buddhism and attends activities whenever he could.
So, what happened to my concise prayer to reconcile with my ex-boyfriend? Not long after Stephen proposed to mem I actually bumped into my ex-boyfriend, face to face on the train. It was an unexpected encounter which caught the both of us by surprise, but I had the courage to smile at him. Later I met him again at my office building - we were actually working in the same building!
So, here he was in front of me. This was what I initially prayed for - to be with him again. Although circumstances brought us together again, it was no longer something I wished to pursue. By this time, I had already found what I really wanted, somehting beyond my dreams.And yes I am very grateful that my prayers were answered.
From this experience, more than simply one woman's pursuit of love - I have developed a solid sense of identity. I learned the power of prayer based on a sense of gratitude and repentance. I have experienced the beauty of human revolution which allowed me to have better relationships with others - my mum and I are truly best friends now! If I had not transformed and poslished my negative tendencies, my husband-to-be might not even be attracted to me. i would not have made wonderful friends, my career would not be as great. I finally understood why I had to go through the adversities.
I am forever indebted to my ex-partner, for being my push factor to so many achievements. I will always be grateful to my family, SGM members and friends for their support.
Meanwhile, my relationship with Stephen is going great, We have already registered our marriage, There have been some trying times but deep down I know we will succeed. There is always hope, knowing I can make a difference. When I come to another obstacle, I know for sure that my prayers to the Gohonzon will definitely be answered. I cannot say when or how but i can guarantee that it will be answered, for my life is the proof.
The following is a contribution by Angie Leong of SGI-Malaysia which I have found encouraging and which I wanted to share:)
Angie Leong relates how she overcame a failure in relationship through faith and in the process gained much more...
Believe it or not, I have actually attempted suicide because of love. It sounds silly but I have been there and I understand how it feels.
Probably the most difficult and common problem among women is the 'relationship karma'. It is difficult because it involves not only us but others as well. We often feel helpless in such situations as we cannot control how others feel.
At 21, I graduated with honors and landed a job with US multinational firm even before getting my results. I thought I was strong and capable, but I soon found out that I was just an emoty shell putting a strong front to mask my low self-esteem.
I fell in love with Stephen in 2002. Soon I begin to neglect my practice of Nichiren Buddhism. Love was in the air, filling my whole world, blinding me totally. Knowing I would soon hit a wall, my mother persuaded me to go back to the Gohonzon and chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo(daimoku).
But I told her off: "Let me be; let me lead my own life!"As time went by, I became insecure. I pried on Stephen, became clingy and manipulative towards him. We hit rock bottom on December 14, 2002 when he called to say he had enough, ending the relationship with a slam. Just like that.
I panicked. I called him repeatedly, but was always answered with a harsh bang. It hit my pride and it hit really hard. I dropped to a very low life-state while not knowing what to do.
Later I travelled to Singapore to see Stephen. What he said shocked me. He used the very same words I had said to my mother! "Let me be; let me lead my own life!" The law of cause and effect smacked right at my face.
My mum encouraged me to chant for what I really wanted, which was to have a second chance with Stephen. But I was impatient to see the resultsm so I called him when I was alone some time later. Then I literally fell into hell when he accused me of harassing him.
To be accused so by someone who had once declared his deep love for me - was humiliating and painful. I felt worthless, capable only of bringing misery to others.
Down the Destructive Path
There was only one way to prove how earnest I was. I decided dying was it.
Many things went through my mind at that time, including the most 'appropiate' way to commit suicide. Tearfully, I knelt down before the Gohonzon and chanted three - supposedly last daimoku. My prayer was, "I am sorry," As I took up the knife and placed it on my wrist, a YWD(Young woman division) leader called my mobile phone. Amazingly, I picked it up. Sensing the distress in my voice, she rushed right over to my place. It was as though I had sent my SOS signal to her through the universe.
My mother and the YWD leader encouraged me to chant for what I desired, and that my prayers will surely be answered.
I chanted but felt that I should have a more concrete prayer to achieve my goal. After chanting abundant daimoku, I found some answers when I came upon an article written by a SGI member which reads, "As long as we thoroughly understand and truthfully apply those [the Daishonin's] teachings, we will be able to single-handedly build a successful relationship with confidence and joy but without feeling the need to make concessions, repress grievances or experience resistance."
The article also shared that we need to resolve conflicts by taking on responsibility and by transforming ourselves first. Using an analogy about a broken glass, the author wrote that we cannot mend something if we do not own it. But when we take it up as our responsibility, then we can do something about it.
How wonderful! I was determined to fight, to chant for courage and strength, to take responsibility for the broken relationship, look into my inner self and face and 'ugliest' side. I resolved to challenge my first one million daimoku.
One Million Daimoku
The progress of self reflection focusing on the three poisons of greed, anger and stupidity was not easy. I came to realize many things about myself and how everythng is a reflection of my inner life.
I had never respected or trusted Stephen. I was arrogant in thinking I was always right and demanded perfection when I was not.
I struggled to face myself squarely, using daimoku as a source of energy, I chanted, I cried, I slept for only a few hours a day, i chanted whenever I could, on the train and during lunch break. I chanted so hard that my mum was worried that I was becoming fanatical.
Through the study of Buddhism, I learned that when based on faith everything happens for a reason. We had scripted this situation ourselves to enable us to grow in faith and transform our karma - I saw that Stephen was part of my push factor to deepen my faith and human revolution.
I also learned to sincerely repent for bringing suffering to the people around me. I especially repent for the way I treated Stephen and for giving undue stress to my parents. I also repented for trying to take my own precious life. Such prayers were very powerful. It helped me to accept the situations as my very own responsibility.
Then I learned about the prayers of gratitude. I owed a debt of gratitude to Stephen for pushing me to do chant so much daimoku and human revolution, to my parents for being understanding and to my friends and YWD members for being supportive when I really needed it.
I listed down my prayers word by word. In all, they came to six pages! It took me half an hour to read. The clear prayers and objectives helped me to pray consistently regardless of how bad my day had been.
Holding Dialogues through Daimoku
My previous attempts to talk directly with Stephen had only worsened the situation. Somehoe, my intention was received in a different light. The Buddha is within each of us, and all of us have the potential to be understanding and compassionate. I decided to conduct a ''dialogue' with him via my daimoku chanting. With my Buddhahood reaching his - a Buddha connecting with another Buddha - my message will surely be delivered with compassion and peace.
An article I read states that when we pray, our Buddhahood is manifested and we fuse with the universe. We are all connected. My SOS message to the YWD leader proved it. When we pray and present our goals, we are actually presenting our life proposals. To achieve my goal, my thoughts, words and deeds must contribute to it.
I had to work harder on my 'human revolution'. It is not transformations merely to achieve a goal but a true inner change that transforms every aspect of my life and surroundings. Correspinding to the law of cause and effect, when we react positively to circumstances, we will get positive reactions and different paths will unfold, henceforth transforming our karma.
At times when things were particularly trying, I sought for encouragement from fellow members and leaders. When I felt impulsive and impatient, I wuold get a SMS stating "Perseverance is the key." When I felt like calling Stephen, my mum would remind me to dialogue with him through daimoku. I was a stubborn person but at such times I turned my stubbornness into perseverance.
When I was halfway though my million daimoku, my prayer list was reduced to three pages. I did not give up on my goal. Praying with a sense of gratitude and repentance helped me to let go some of the darker tendencies within me - especially grudges. Letting go was like lifting a rock off my shoulder. I became much happier.
At the end of my million daimoku, I was offerd a job in Singapore. Opportunity has come, I thought. Part of my prayer was answered, now that I have the chance to be closer to Stephen again.
I mmoved there. I was doing well in my career, but I did not manage to meet him even though I knew we were in the same vicinity. My spirit sank, but with continuous encouragement, I persevered.
While in Singapore, my god brother introduced me to a friend. Coincidentally, he too was called Stephen. A feeling of déjà vu overwhelmed me. I shared with him the great philosophy of Nichiren Buddhism. He was attracted to my earnest effort to be a better person. Frankly, I panicked at his interest at first.
I went home and chanted wondering if I had not presented the name precisely enough in my prayer, and things got mixed up! Anyway, I decided to chant for the happiness of the two Stephens!
As I looked back, I realized that there was no mix-up. The Stephen who showed me love and care may have the same name as my ex-partner, but they are totally different persons with different personalities. I have met a Stephen who wants to spend his whole life with me, to be my life partner. He is also very supportive of my faith in Nichiren Buddhism and attends activities whenever he could.
So, what happened to my concise prayer to reconcile with my ex-boyfriend? Not long after Stephen proposed to mem I actually bumped into my ex-boyfriend, face to face on the train. It was an unexpected encounter which caught the both of us by surprise, but I had the courage to smile at him. Later I met him again at my office building - we were actually working in the same building!
So, here he was in front of me. This was what I initially prayed for - to be with him again. Although circumstances brought us together again, it was no longer something I wished to pursue. By this time, I had already found what I really wanted, somehting beyond my dreams.And yes I am very grateful that my prayers were answered.
From this experience, more than simply one woman's pursuit of love - I have developed a solid sense of identity. I learned the power of prayer based on a sense of gratitude and repentance. I have experienced the beauty of human revolution which allowed me to have better relationships with others - my mum and I are truly best friends now! If I had not transformed and poslished my negative tendencies, my husband-to-be might not even be attracted to me. i would not have made wonderful friends, my career would not be as great. I finally understood why I had to go through the adversities.
I am forever indebted to my ex-partner, for being my push factor to so many achievements. I will always be grateful to my family, SGM members and friends for their support.
Meanwhile, my relationship with Stephen is going great, We have already registered our marriage, There have been some trying times but deep down I know we will succeed. There is always hope, knowing I can make a difference. When I come to another obstacle, I know for sure that my prayers to the Gohonzon will definitely be answered. I cannot say when or how but i can guarantee that it will be answered, for my life is the proof.
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